Monday, February 11, 2013

Overcoming Fears and Trusting Yourself: My Trek up Mount Arthur


The morning of the hike felt crisp and energizing. Jo, Larissa and I departed Kimi Ora Resort around 8:00am and ventured toward the Kahurangi National Park located at the top of the South Island outside of the Abel Tasman National Park. The narrow country roads lined with simple posted fences gave us a great sense of serenity as we approached the start of the trail. The sun was beginning to warm our bodies and the hues of blues in the sky made each of us excited for the trek ahead. After an hour of driving, we made it to the Flora car park where we applied some sunscreen and packed our backpacks with food, water and layers. While preparing for the trek, I felt very motivated and driven to get up that mountain. The funny thing is, I have a love/hate relationship with hiking. I absolutely love being in nature and I am always fascinated by the amazing views at the summit, but sometimes I just can’t stand the upward climb! I am still trying to figure out why exactly, but it may have something to do with being a little impatient. I think my brain just wants to be at the top enjoying the view, but there is always a journey and challenges to endear before you can get to the reward.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but just like many things in life, I think anything worth having includes some sort of hard work or determination to achieve it. The best things in life are worth the effort it takes to get them. We may not enjoy all of the challenges and struggles along the way, but man, doesn’t it feel good when you’ve accomplished the task you’ve been striving to complete?
I really had no expectation of what was to come, but there were some major physical and emotional challenges awaiting me on the way to the summit.

The beginning part of the trek or as Kiwi’s call it, the “tramp,” was very well groomed. There was an easy gradual incline, which I thoroughly appreciated. The trail traveled through the middle of the forest, lined with a variety of mosses, ferns and “Who-ville” trees (think Dr. Seuss J). We hiked along for about an hour until we reached Mount Arthur’s Hut. After a 10 minute biscuit break, we proceeded on.  We reached the top of one of the hills and from there the hike was along the mountain ridge line.
 Fully exposed to the sun, I was grateful I applied sunscreen even though later on I would realize I had missed a few spots. The land was very dry and signs of erosion marked parts of the trail. There was a cooling breeze that danced with the warm rays of the sun and provided perfect conditions to continue the hike.

After about 20 minutes on the ridgeline, we approached our first of many, large hills to summit. With my mind determined, I worked my way up the hill. Halfway through, my “stinkin’ thinkin’” hit me. I told myself before the hike that I would try not to complain on the way up, but dang it was tough! Maybe it was my lack of fitness, but I was feeling it! I began “hating” the hiking process and got a bit frustrated. As I continued to make it up this hill, I did some internal thinking and realized that I didn’t have to furiously conquer this hill. I decided it was okay for me to take it slow and try to enjoy the trek instead of feeling like it was a race to the top. This helped a little. After summiting the first hill, we hiked along the even ridge, passing many rock piles in which we contributed to. The funny thing about this hike was that none of us knew which summit we were aiming for. We were trusting that the blue trail poles would lead us to the place we wanted to be. We kept looking up and trying to spot which summit we were headed to, but we were never quite sure. I remember thinking about 2 hours into the hike that we had to be close. Was I wrong! As we hiked further, we began to encounter even more hills to climb with very slippery loose rocks. About ¾ of the way into our hike, one of my fears kicked into full gear. I have a fear of “getting hurt.” I am SO Thankful that I have never had any serious, life-threatening injuries, but after my knee injury and SI joint injury, I have really feared re-injuring them. My two injuries have improved, but things like hiking can aggravate them and cause weakness and pain in the area especially descending a mountain. Fear invaded my mind and immediately displayed an image of me coming down the mountain, slipping on the rocks and somehow hurting myself again. This fear seemed to grow with each step up the mountain. I did a lot of self-talking and kept telling myself that I could do it and I’d be okay, but my last straw was about to be used up. I remember looking up ahead of me and seeing a couple coming down the mountain and it looked as if they were scaling down a jagged rock wall. Usually this would have excited me, but with the fear brewing in my head and my body in sheer exhaustion, I began to get a bit emotional. Note to self and others: it is never a good idea to start tearing up on a strenuous hike. This will only make breathing 10x harder!!
I took 5 minutes to compose myself as the girls so patiently talked me through what I was feeling. Jo said something to me that really hit a strong cord with me. She said, “You don’t trust yourself.” Wow. She was right. I never thought of it this way, but my fear stemmed from a lack of trust in myself. If I could muster up the confidence to realize that I had the strength and ability to make it up and down the mountain safely and successfully, I would be able to starve the fear inside of me.
During the last very challenging sections of the climb, I felt a bit more confident and determined just as I felt when I started the hike. The section that I had seen where the couple was coming down, was actually misinterpreted from a distance. They were hiking along the rocky ridge, but on a trail that was manageable. This proved to me that you can’t let things in the distance scare you; you must take steps closer to make a better assessment. After a few more obstacles, we made it to the TOP! A few new tears gushed out of my eyes as I gazed at the amazing beauty that was before me. The 360* views of a diversity of landscapes all commanded by spectacular mountain peaks was absolutely mind-blowing. I have never seen such handsome peaks from the summit of a mountain before. Sitting alone on the edge of Mount Arthur made me feel fully Alive! Peace transcended my spirit and I again felt balanced and proud of the challenge that I had just defeated. 
Part of me still can’t believe that I was able to do it, but it’s amazing what your body can actually handle. It is our mind that limits us. Our fears, our assumptions, our self-doubts. We can control these through positive affirmations and facing fears head on. Through this, we will surprise ourselves with what we can actually accomplish. Whether it is climbing a mountain or venturing into a new career, it is so important to work on overcoming your fears. The best way to do this is to just try what you are so afraid of and trust in the process. Have no expectations and enjoy the journey. J

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